:coffeelol:
British Airways flight asks for push back clearance from terminal.
Control Tower replies: 'And where is the world's most experienced airline going todaywithout filing a flight plan?'
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ATC: ' Al Italia 345 continue taxi to 26L South via Tango - check for workers along taxiway.'
Al Italia 345: 'Roger, Taxi 26 Left a via Tango. Workers checked - all are working'
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Nova 851: 'Halifax Terminal, Nova 851 with you out of 13,000 for 10,000, requesting runway 15.'
Halifax Terminal (female): 'Nova 851, Halifax , the last time I gave a pilot what he wanted I was
on penicillin for three weeks. Expect runway 06.'
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Lost student pilot: 'Unknown airport with Cessna 150 circling overhead, please identify yourself.'
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Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not?
Pilot: Yes.
Tower: Yes what?
Pilot: Yes, SIR!
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ATC: 'Cessna 123, What are your intentions? '
Cessna: 'To get my Commercial Pilots License and Instrument Rating.'
ATC: 'I meant in the next five minutes not years.'
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Controller: AF123, say call sign of your wingman.
Pilot: Uh... approach, we're a single ship.
Controller: Oh, Oh, Shit! You have traffic!
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O'Hare Approach: USA212, cleared ILS runway 32L approach, maintain 250 knots.
USA212: Roger approach, how long do you need me to maintain that speed?
O'Hare Approach: All the way to the gate if you can.
USA212: Ah, OK, but you better warn ground control.
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ATC: Pan Am 1, descend to 3,000 ft on QNH, altimeter 1019.
Pan AM 1: Could you give that to me in inches?
ATC: Pan Am 1, descend to 36,000 inches on QNH, altimeter 1019
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Cessna 152: 'Flight Level Three Thousand, Seven Hundred'
Controller: 'Roger, contact Houston Space Center '
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Beech Baron: Uh, ATC, verify you want me to taxi in front of the 747.
ATC: Yeah, it's OK. He's not hungry.
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Student Pilot: 'I'm lost; I'm over a big lake and heading toward the big "E".
Controller: 'Make several 90 degree turns so I can identify you on radar.'(short pause)...
Controller:'Okay then. The big lake is the Atlantic Ocean. Suggest you turn to the big "W" immediately.'
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Pilot: 'Approach, Acme Flt 202, with you at 12,000' and 40 DME.'
Approach: 'Acme 202, cross 30 DME at and maintain 8000'.'
Pilot: 'Approach, 202's unable that descent rate.'
Approach: 'What's the matter 202? Don't you have speed brakes?'
Pilot: 'Yup. But they're for my mistakes. Not yours.'
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Tower: 'American...and for your information, you were slightly to the left of the centerline on that approach.'
American: 'That's correct; and, my First Officer was slightly to the right'
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Controller: 'USA353 contact Cleveland Center 135.60. (pause)
Controller: 'USA353 contact Cleveland Center 135.60!' (pause)
Controller: 'USA353 you're just like my wife you never listen!'
Pilot: 'Center, this is USA553, maybe if you called her by the right name you'd get a better response!'
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Foreign Pilot Trainee: 'Tower, please speak slowly, I am a baby in English and lonely in the cockpit'
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Controller: 'CRX600, are you on course to SUL?'
Pilot: 'More or less.'
Controller: 'So proceed a little bit more to SUL.'
